#so so cold

[oneandonlydonniedee]

@oneandonlywhalesharklover

Set aside some time, as I have an important inquiry for you.

Say one were to encounter a slimy, grotesque, nauseating monster leaping aboard the ship and attacking them point blank...

How would one then handle said monster flopping aimlessly on deck? Note that the ideal solution would be not to touch it.

[vivid-vices]

70 degrees in a sweatshirt and sweatpants under the comforter and i can't stop fucking shivering

[pisc3s-baby]

It’s 15°c outside and I am freezing my tits off 😭

[freckledchocobobutt]

you know when you're wearing socks and you step in... wet

[koushuwu]

it is 7:52pm. i’m going to bed.

[defaulttwig]

@ everyone with HBO

How does it feel to have Joel Miller?

Is he just as grumpy and snuggly as his game counterpart (rhetorical, I know Pedro is doing his daddy best to be daddy Joel) Is it true to the source? Is it everything you hoped and dreamed for?

Tell me. Let me live vicariously through you

✍️😭 Sincerely, a broke hoe

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[pangur-and-grim]

he’s had a long day

[colorstrike624]

No but seriously the things turtles can do are unhinged.

[bloominglegumes]

to think that we could stay the same,,,

(my megop playlist.pls pls talk about songs with me)

[ditzybat]

jason: you don’t even know what my favorite book is, how could you even stand to call yourself my father if you don’t know me anymore!?

bruce: jay, your favorite is pride and —

tim: the velveteen rabbit.

jason: … i’ve had like two conversations with you outside of murder attempts, how do you know that?

tim: im not an amateur, i took my baby stalker duties very seriously!

[madscientistenthusiast]

Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite

[amygdalae]

This is driving me insane because I swear this is this image:

But with like an AI filter style thing to turn it into a goth girl. I stg

[sergle]

ALSO IMPORTANT TO NOTE, people dropping mad mad sums of money on gfms and charities and stuff are extremely impressive but that DOES NOT MEAN that putting like $5 towards someone's fund or any good cause is any less valuable, a lot of crowdfunding is about momentum and those single digits add up super fast, you do not need to be Rolling In The Dough to make someone's day!! moving the dial at all is extremely positive!!

[rythyme]

me: oh boy, booping is finally back! i love booping! i can't wait to get booped!

my roommate's cat, who's spent the last 3 months unsuccessfully trying to boop me from under the bathroom door while i pee: am i a joke to you

[landofgay]

house MD voice: if it's in his lungs, it's in his asshole. get me a biopsy of his penis.